Little Highs. Big Lows.

The ebb and flow of failure/success.

First off. I really wanted the subtitle above to read:

The ebb and flow of failure success.

But I guess strikethrough is not allowed in the title box.

No matter.

In the aforementioned “ebb and flow”, this would be a small (or little) low.

I’m over it.

Seriously. It’s fine. Whatever.

Let’s move on.

The real reason I showed up on the page today is to talk about the imbalance of positive and negative reactions I have when it comes to creative work that I have bravely jettisoned into the world for public consumption, and how said public responds (or doesn’t) to said creative work.

This newsletter thing is a gamble. There’s no guarantee anyone (even active subscribers) will ever read it and there’s no guarantee that if someone does read it, it will resonate with them. But this being a crapshoot doesn’t make the idea of someone stopping by my writing, taking a gander at what I’m about, and ultimately deciding, “Nah”, any easier to digest.

Rejection blows.

And it comes in all shapes and sizes.

• unsolicited criticism

• solicited criticism

• zero likes/shares/follows/approval stamps/brownie points/gold stars

• low email open rates

• unsubscribes

• actual industry rejections like: Thanks for your submission (insert hapless dreamer’s name here), but your life’s work and reason for being is not for us. Maybe it’s for someone else, though. Good luck! Sincerely, (insert name of person who saw hapless dreamer’s life’s work and reason for being and said “nah”)

• not getting picked

• watching someone else you know (or don’t know) get picked, liked, shared, followed, subscribed to, opened, solicited, accepted

My problem is, the low of the rejection, or the resounding “nah”, always sits more prominently with me than the initial high of the launch. The checkmark on the to-do list. The positive result of finishing a project. The positive result of starting a project. The brave moment of releasing a project into the wind and hoping it doesn’t fly into a transformer or a wind turbine before it gains any momentum.

I’ve also decided noticed that the bigger the indulgence in the high—the more champagne I throw back in celebration—the more bitter the rejection pill is to swallow. And the longer I spend choking on it before I can pick myself up and embark on a new positive result.

Is this a reason NOT to celebrate positive results?

Hell no.

But it is a sad defect in my creative programming that I can’t see the champagne success forest for the bitter pill rejection trees.

Today’s shameless rant artist musing was spurred by a recent high that came from gaining three new subscribers after I was mentioned in a fellow Substacker’s post. Since these new subscribers were not:

• people I knew in high school/college

• my parents

• siblings

• close friends

I have to assume the mini-wave of ganderers stopping by was a result of this generous boost from another writer.

I’ll admit. I champagned the heck out of those three new subscriptions.

Of course, I instantly worried they would regret their decision, but that’s just self-doubt/imposter syndrome bullshit and not what I’m talking about.

The fun thing about having only 21 subscribers, is you definitely notice when that number 21 suddenly looks like this:

20

Is this a big deal?

No.

Did it still bruise my ego and make me want to quit writing for a few minutes?

Yup.

Do I see the irony in the fact that only moments before discovering my one-man-down subscriber count, I had made the decision to unsubscribe from a newsletter that I discovered, after a few reads, just wasn’t for me?

Sure do.

Could this be karma at play?

No.

It’s just how it goes.

There be highs.

And there be lows.

Not everything I write will be for everyone.

And not everything I read will be for me.

I’m tempted to insert a shit ton of quotes from Seth Godin’s book, The Practice here.

Instead, I’m going to tell you to buy it (or borrow it) and read it cover to cover if you are creative type. Or even if you aren’t. It’s for anyone who wants to unplug from outcome driven success narratives and focus on what’s important.

Making and shipping creative work. Not for the outcome. But for the result.

And for the champagne that comes with it.

Photo by Louise Lyshøj on Unsplash

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Okay. Two quotes from The Practice. But seriously, read the book.

“As we engage in the practice, we begin to trust the practice. Not that it will produce the desired outcome each time, but simply that it’s our best available option.”

“The practice demands that we seek to make an impact on someone, not on everyone.”

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Until next time,

W.C.S.G.