46 Comments

I leave my underwear all over the house, but my wife doesn't think it constitutes flirting.

I loved the ending, Meg. Excellent work. 😁

Expand full comment

C’mon Brian, own it: leaving your underwear around IS flirting.

Expand full comment

lol, well I certainly think it is, especially when I make a big show of it.

Expand full comment

If we can’t call some of the stupid crap we do flirting (and when I say we, I mean guys), there’s no hope!

Expand full comment

You're not being very inclusive, Tom. No one flirts stupider than me. I guarantee it.

Expand full comment

But you’re a guy, Meg! I didn’t say “male” 😀

Expand full comment

Thank you, Brian.

I think once the underwear ventures into "laundry" territory, the cute factor wears off. Unless part of the flirtation is you picking them up and putting them away afterwards.

Now, that's hot. 😏

Expand full comment

But not quite as hot as emptying the dishwasher or folding the laundry.

Expand full comment

We don't own a dishwasher. My husband hand washes everything. Something to consider for your next anniversary. 😇

Expand full comment

No dishwasher?!? You should ask your husband to remodel the kitchen. I'm getting the vapors just thinking about it.

Expand full comment

8 years so far without one. Also, we're a fiction writer and a PE teacher respectively. In what fantasy world can we afford a kitchen remodel. 😂

Expand full comment

First thing I did when I moved into my new place was to remove the dishwasher and the garbage disposal. Of course,my boy is a plumber, so it was an easy (read free) choice.

Expand full comment

It's a good thing I haven't had coffee yet, else said coffee would be all over my keyboard from giggling.

Expand full comment

Tee hee. 😉

Expand full comment

That was a really fun story

Expand full comment

Thanks, Tom! 💛

Expand full comment

BB..... beyond brilliant.....

Expand full comment

Thanks, Mom! ❤️

Expand full comment

Loved this, Meg. It takes me back to the days when I used to wear too much cologne and spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about women's underwear. What a mysterious, forbidden place Victoria's Secret was in the middle of a mall. A little island of socially acceptable lust wadded up in piles of panties overflowing bargain bins...

Expand full comment

I don't know how acceptable it was to dangle unattainable fantasies in front of impressionable teenagers, but it made for good story fuel. 😉

Everyone wore too much cologne, perfume, body spray, scented body lotion back then. Weirdly, all the girl fragrances smelled like food. Like, cucumber melon. Or lime verbena. Or vanilla cupcake. Or sausage and mushroom pizza.

I actually wore Eternity for Men all through high school because I wanted to smell like a teenage boy. And later, in college, I wore Old Spice deodorant exclusively. We age out of these phases, of course. Now, I prefer it when men smell like shower water and yard work and breakfast food and good parenting. Somebody should bottle that. I'd wear it every day. 😂

Expand full comment

Bacon-scented perfume. A sure aphrodisiac if you want to attract a man. As for me, a man who scented himself with eau de snicker-doodle could easily have his way with me.

Expand full comment

Eau de snicker-doodle.

Love it.

Expand full comment

My heart goes out to adolescent boys! Hormones rule their lives and they can't do anything about it. Anything public, that is.

Expand full comment

Now class, in short story writing, it’s very important to to hook the reader from the very beginning. For example, this first line of a story called Breadcrumbs by Meg Oolders:

“I was the girl who left her panties in Ryan Kirkland’s pickup truck.”

Does that make you want to hear more?

Yes please.

Expand full comment

Ha! Thanks, Teach.

I figured if the picture of underwear didn't grab people, the first line would.

It's nice to be right. 😁

Expand full comment

Love this! I love all the teenage angst without actually having to experience it all over again. 😁

Expand full comment

Thanks, Caro. 💜

This is for the next time you're stuck inside for a weekend and get a craving for vicarious teen angst. https://www.wattpad.com/story/340543646-see-dot-smile

Expand full comment

October 8th sounds like the perfect day for a black tie Stock Fiction event! 💃🏻

Expand full comment

Woot!

Expand full comment

Oh, that story had me flinching. Shame is a great topic topic for short stories.

Expand full comment

Thanks for reading, Sherman. And for uncovering layers in this story the author didn't even fully appreciate when she wrote it. 🙂

Expand full comment

I just found you. This is terrific writing.

Expand full comment

Welcome! Thank you for reading and restacking.

Expand full comment

"I was the girl who left her panties in Ryan Kirkland’s pickup truck." Without a doubt, one of the best opening lines I have ever read. Who would not want to continue reading this story??

"Dude. So hot." Meg! You have these teens' language utterly. "top-shelf junior guys"... "an aggressively flirtatious smile" ... "I wasn’t the girl who kissed yesses out of seniors "... "The girl with flammable underwear." A delight from first sentence to last.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Sharron. I'm glad you enjoyed the ride. 🛻

Expand full comment

Great story told masterfully and fun yo read!

Expand full comment

Thank you, Diane!

Expand full comment

Very welcome!

Expand full comment

Just apply a small flame, and you'll have a fiery Romance. Every page will burn with passion, and every word will be hot. Every dialogue will be flammable.

Expand full comment

What a completely fun and sweet story! Loved reading that Meg! Written in your usual smooth, breezy style. You need to get all of these into a book. I’d buy.

Expand full comment

Thank you, Reena!

A collection of stories is certainly something I'll be exploring as I head into my second year on Substack. Stay tuned and thanks for your support. 💜

Expand full comment

One of the best opening lines I’ve read in a long time! What a lovely and fun story, Meg. Thanks for sharing this gem!

Expand full comment

You’re really, really good at this. Hooked, entertained, surprised, delighted. I love the way you write, and I love the stories you tell.

Expand full comment

Thank you, friend. This comment made an emotionally cloudy day considerably less cloudy. ☀️ 💜

Expand full comment