What a sweet story, Meg. It seems like their galaxies collided at the right moment. I’m happy she finally found the courage to approach him. And, I thought you captured the darker undertones of the story effectively. I like how you hinted at the alternative path for the boy with a few carefully placed details, too. Excellent stuff!
mmmmmm this story makes me feel so good. This is a long quote, but I'm highlighting the whole thing because it deserves it: "Yeah. I mean, the universe is really big, right? But all we ever see is what’s in our own galaxy. We know what’s happening to us is important because it’s in our orbit, right? But it takes us being brave and exploring other galaxies to learn that other people’s stuff matters, too. It can’t just be I, me, mine. It has to be us. And it is us. Which is why people would notice if you stopped showing up. It would be like a planet just fell out of the sky. It would throw everybody’s orbit off. And it would be … sad … to lose such a cool planet.” <3 <3 <3 much love, Meg.
Oh no, Meg, I think you are mistaken. This story is definitely a contest winner. I was thoroughly engrossed - and became a teenager again for a few minutes. ( Although I was not sure a teenager would know the word loquacious...) This writing is very reminiscent of the works of Meg Rosoff (How I Live Now). Like her, you are beautifully able to capture a young adult's voice and POV -- whether boy or girl. It is a gift.
This easily could have gone dark with the boy on the bridge revealed to be a killer or a ghost.
The same tension you excel at drawing out for romantic tension could just as easily apply to the weird, horror, or spooky tale.
Just saying.
I may be learning some tricks from you.
Hey Meg, was there a reason you decided not to reveal what was on the paper? I feel like it was leading toward a revelation or confrontation.
What a sweet story, Meg. It seems like their galaxies collided at the right moment. I’m happy she finally found the courage to approach him. And, I thought you captured the darker undertones of the story effectively. I like how you hinted at the alternative path for the boy with a few carefully placed details, too. Excellent stuff!
BTYEW. (IMHO)
Loved this story! For its quietness yet sweetness and the girl was SO you ❤️
And thanks for the shout out! 🙏
mmmmmm this story makes me feel so good. This is a long quote, but I'm highlighting the whole thing because it deserves it: "Yeah. I mean, the universe is really big, right? But all we ever see is what’s in our own galaxy. We know what’s happening to us is important because it’s in our orbit, right? But it takes us being brave and exploring other galaxies to learn that other people’s stuff matters, too. It can’t just be I, me, mine. It has to be us. And it is us. Which is why people would notice if you stopped showing up. It would be like a planet just fell out of the sky. It would throw everybody’s orbit off. And it would be … sad … to lose such a cool planet.” <3 <3 <3 much love, Meg.
Loved this. My indie teen heart did an 80’s backflip
Oh no, Meg, I think you are mistaken. This story is definitely a contest winner. I was thoroughly engrossed - and became a teenager again for a few minutes. ( Although I was not sure a teenager would know the word loquacious...) This writing is very reminiscent of the works of Meg Rosoff (How I Live Now). Like her, you are beautifully able to capture a young adult's voice and POV -- whether boy or girl. It is a gift.