I am not a reader who strays into books that might be called erotic as a rule any more, but I found the humor and the descriptions in this section quite delightful. One tiny caveat. From the beginning having the husband's name be Clinton kept taking me out of the story, finding myself looking for connections to the former president. For me the distraction in giving him this name outweighed the humor. Otherwise, thanks for continuing to share your work.
Name associations can be so fascinating. I didn't put too much thought into Clinton's name when I wrote the original "best seller" pitch for this book, meaning I'm not overly attached to it. I thought it sounded "political" - for obvious reasons. I knew a boy named Clinton in high school, so I have another association, other than Bill. My husband and I spent some time looking at other first names of former presidents for inspiration, in case I decide to change it. I thought Rutherford had a nice ring to it. A bit of a mouthful, but that could be fun. And his friends could call him "Ruthie" in a hazing kind of way. :-)
I confess I really liked the idea of the man being called Rutherford. A few people might actually recognize him as a former president, but he is so obscure they wouldn't associate him with anything specific!
So now the question is... do I just switch the name now - mid draft? I've never written a book in front of people before, so I don't know what the etiquette is. 😇. But I'm pretty keen on Rutherford, too.
Pros and cons to changing midstream, but if part of the attraction to showing your work in progress to readers is to let them peek behind the curtain in your writing process (which I find my fans and other writers really seem to enjoy), then I would make change now, explain why, and live with for awhile. You might even change it back before it is done if the pro-Clinton people are too vociferous. But you can also wait until the end, because there were be a good number who won't read it in progress, wait until it is completed, and they won't really have an opinion, one way or the other.
Imitate away, but don't forget to leave plenty of room for your own voice notes and style flourishes. I didn't realize I had a "short sentences" thing until I started writing more and more stories. It's definitely a signature maneuver of mine and one I no longer consciously think about. I like for the story to have a rhythm when I read it back to myself - and bouncing between long and short phrases really helps with that.
I'm glad people are having fun with this stuff. My husband (Mr. O.) laughed out loud several times when he read it. I'm a fan of flirty banter, so scenes like this are especially enjoyable for me to write.
Glad to have you back here to bear witness to my debauchery. More fun in store.
Just curious.... when you were single, were you pretty good at flirty banter yourself? Or do your characters say things you wish you had been able to say in "real life"?
I was a shameless flirt in high school! I still kind of am, but the intention behind it is different now that I'm an old married broad. 🙂 I'm quick on my feet and pretty good at spiking one liners, especially when there's someone providing the set-ups for me. I did a lot of improv in my theater days, too, which is just banter for an audience. The "real life" stuff I could never say was always the more traditional romancey stuff. "How do I love thee, let me blah blah blah..." I prefer to gift-wrap love talk in jokey wordplay. Keeps things confusing. 😂😂
SQUEEEEEEEE I adore this -- PRO BONER got my guffawing out loud in the quiet of my early-morning kids-not-up-yet house. I love the awkwardness of that whole scene -- omg the natural redhead question and her response, lol -- and the flower-petal masturbation bit is magnificent. I hope it gets darker and weirder, but I'm taking whatever you're giving, Praise Em Eaulders!!!
I can't recall if this was mentioned in Chapter 1, but something I'm curious about: why doesn't Celeste leave Clinton? I'm sure you'll get to it -- if you haven't already dropped enough hints that I haven't picked up -- but I'm looking forward to diving deeper into her internal psychology.
Also, since young Harold is such a strapping young lad, I'm already formulating theories about who kills the poor chap.
Enjoy the holiday season and your respite from Substack.
Interestingly, I cut a small piece of the first chapter that gave a bit of backstory on why C is with C. Or why she got with him in the first place anyway. I'll try to tease it into the next chapter which is strictly C and C. I rarely deal with such broken people in my stories, so this is all HIGHLY experimental. I'm looking forward to diving deeper as well!
I love that you have theories. I will now accurately guess what they are so I can properly debunk them later. Truthfully, you're way off. 😂
Thanks for sticking with me. I'm determined to be at least 30% less tightly wound by year's end. 🥂
This should have been first chapter! Two people interacting always more interesting than one brooding. You got away with it because a dead body is a huge question mark, but the interaction and tension here is more propulsive
I am not a reader who strays into books that might be called erotic as a rule any more, but I found the humor and the descriptions in this section quite delightful. One tiny caveat. From the beginning having the husband's name be Clinton kept taking me out of the story, finding myself looking for connections to the former president. For me the distraction in giving him this name outweighed the humor. Otherwise, thanks for continuing to share your work.
That's odd. Having him named Clinton put me INTO the story.
"There are no accidents."
Which is why writers need to make the final decisions for themselves, because we readers bring our own stuff to whatever we read (smile).
Name associations can be so fascinating. I didn't put too much thought into Clinton's name when I wrote the original "best seller" pitch for this book, meaning I'm not overly attached to it. I thought it sounded "political" - for obvious reasons. I knew a boy named Clinton in high school, so I have another association, other than Bill. My husband and I spent some time looking at other first names of former presidents for inspiration, in case I decide to change it. I thought Rutherford had a nice ring to it. A bit of a mouthful, but that could be fun. And his friends could call him "Ruthie" in a hazing kind of way. :-)
I confess I really liked the idea of the man being called Rutherford. A few people might actually recognize him as a former president, but he is so obscure they wouldn't associate him with anything specific!
So now the question is... do I just switch the name now - mid draft? I've never written a book in front of people before, so I don't know what the etiquette is. 😇. But I'm pretty keen on Rutherford, too.
Pros and cons to changing midstream, but if part of the attraction to showing your work in progress to readers is to let them peek behind the curtain in your writing process (which I find my fans and other writers really seem to enjoy), then I would make change now, explain why, and live with for awhile. You might even change it back before it is done if the pro-Clinton people are too vociferous. But you can also wait until the end, because there were be a good number who won't read it in progress, wait until it is completed, and they won't really have an opinion, one way or the other.
Envy is so unbecoming. But that's the emotion I keep feeling when I read your work. The dialogue. The short, illuminating descriptive phrases.
Fair warning: I intend to keep imitating you until I get it right...
Yeah. Me too...
Envy is my middle name, so worry not.
Imitate away, but don't forget to leave plenty of room for your own voice notes and style flourishes. I didn't realize I had a "short sentences" thing until I started writing more and more stories. It's definitely a signature maneuver of mine and one I no longer consciously think about. I like for the story to have a rhythm when I read it back to myself - and bouncing between long and short phrases really helps with that.
Thanks for reading!
"Palpable sexual tension and brief cunnilingus with plants."
"She nods, fearing the only thing that will leave her mouth, if she opens it, is a girlish squeal."
"Jesus. Is this kid even legal?"
“That’s okay. I’ll find out eventually.” He smirks and something snaps in Celeste.
This is really funny stuff, Meg. Who would not want to subscribe to this? Such a great escape into fantasy land.
Bon voyage!
This is some steamy stuff Ms. O! This is a deliciously fun ride so far thanks to your sharp wit and impeccable timing.
That's MRS. O! 😇
I'm glad people are having fun with this stuff. My husband (Mr. O.) laughed out loud several times when he read it. I'm a fan of flirty banter, so scenes like this are especially enjoyable for me to write.
Glad to have you back here to bear witness to my debauchery. More fun in store.
Just curious.... when you were single, were you pretty good at flirty banter yourself? Or do your characters say things you wish you had been able to say in "real life"?
I was a shameless flirt in high school! I still kind of am, but the intention behind it is different now that I'm an old married broad. 🙂 I'm quick on my feet and pretty good at spiking one liners, especially when there's someone providing the set-ups for me. I did a lot of improv in my theater days, too, which is just banter for an audience. The "real life" stuff I could never say was always the more traditional romancey stuff. "How do I love thee, let me blah blah blah..." I prefer to gift-wrap love talk in jokey wordplay. Keeps things confusing. 😂😂
Nothing like a little confusion to light a spark.
SQUEEEEEEEE I adore this -- PRO BONER got my guffawing out loud in the quiet of my early-morning kids-not-up-yet house. I love the awkwardness of that whole scene -- omg the natural redhead question and her response, lol -- and the flower-petal masturbation bit is magnificent. I hope it gets darker and weirder, but I'm taking whatever you're giving, Praise Em Eaulders!!!
Yay! And here I was thinking "pro boner" was too low brow or only I thought it was funny! 😂
Your wish for more dark weirdness shall most certainly be granted. 🥂💜
I first heard the phrase pro boner in the hilarious film 'Mumford' ( 1999). Just as funny today!
Fun stuff! The rose/window scene is wonderful.
I can't recall if this was mentioned in Chapter 1, but something I'm curious about: why doesn't Celeste leave Clinton? I'm sure you'll get to it -- if you haven't already dropped enough hints that I haven't picked up -- but I'm looking forward to diving deeper into her internal psychology.
Also, since young Harold is such a strapping young lad, I'm already formulating theories about who kills the poor chap.
Enjoy the holiday season and your respite from Substack.
Thank you! And thank you. 🌹
Interestingly, I cut a small piece of the first chapter that gave a bit of backstory on why C is with C. Or why she got with him in the first place anyway. I'll try to tease it into the next chapter which is strictly C and C. I rarely deal with such broken people in my stories, so this is all HIGHLY experimental. I'm looking forward to diving deeper as well!
I love that you have theories. I will now accurately guess what they are so I can properly debunk them later. Truthfully, you're way off. 😂
Thanks for sticking with me. I'm determined to be at least 30% less tightly wound by year's end. 🥂
Anything's possible. ¯\(°_o)/¯
This should have been first chapter! Two people interacting always more interesting than one brooding. You got away with it because a dead body is a huge question mark, but the interaction and tension here is more propulsive
Still laughing and seeing the movie....