I am not a writer. As a reader, technical details are irrelevant for me. Either it works or it doesn't, and it does. Feeling neither over- nor under-informed, just riding the wave and loving it.
The time jumping is a bit of a pill. Trouble is, if this was a movie there would be no issue with jumping back and forth, because there would be enough visual/style/mood clues to let you know what world you were in. I'm hoping to be able to create the mood shift portion through the storytelling - chapters 1 and 3 are decidedly less "sunny", whereas the chapter with Harold has a nice filter of hope and horniness laid over it (at least that's what I was going for. :-)
I'm about to dive into a YA novel that tells a story in alternating timelines (it's not the first of that structure that I've read). Granted, it's a romance, not a hot mess of debauchery, but maybe it will offer some insight on how to successfully maneuver two timelines simultaneously.
Learning as I go - as I should have expected drafting this baby in front of other humans - but I've already seen the potential for an entirely different story opening. Alas, I will have to hang on to that for draft two!
Thanks for reading, Sharron. I appreciate your commitment!!!
A good change of pace chapter that kept the momentum of the previous episodes.
I still can't quite figure out Celeste, but that could be my defective Y chromosome.
I'm not a fan of time jumps in really any format, but one (obvious) way to anchor the reader might be simply to put dates atop each section(e.g., Fall 2022, Spring 2023, etc.)
Because I write the way the write, I'm already feeling the drive of this story to be less of a who-dunnit? and more of a WHO-IS-IT? So, the fact that you're murky on Celeste is a good thing at this point. 👍🏼
Yeah. Time jumps suck. The book I'm reading now is doing the date thing at the top of each chapter. But the jump back is 15 years, not 3 months, which is what I'm envisioning here. So... tricky.
Incidentally, the book I'm reading is full-on bestseller romance trash. You'd hate it. I hate it. But it's making someone very rich. Two people actually. It's co-authored. 🙄
And I love time jumps! And I’m along for the ride! I just hope there’ll be some escalating will they or won’t they... or I guess in this story, where will they or where won’t they... you’re reminding me Harold is stiff rigormortis when I want to read about him being stiff happy to see her
What you should beware: Everyone being miserable/horrible is going to make You and your Readers bail before too long... give someone a pet to feed and cherish and redeem their hardened heart! Otherwise your most interesting character will be the dead guy because of his plant devotion
Hold up, do you love them or hate them? I agree with the tension deflation - it's an unfortunate side effect of the jumping. Granted, if this story was complete you wouldn't have to wait a month between chapters. Maybe I'll consider sticking with a past tense time line for more than one chapter and then just when I have everyone ready to snap in half from the romantic tension, I'll jerk them back to the reality that Hot Harold is on ice in morgue somewhere, his murder still unsolved.
In general, i think bouncing around in time is a trick that prose can do better than live action or audio so we should embrace it and challenge ourselves to exploit its possibilities. One paragraph can be now and then and tomorrow and specific and universal.
If I may be so bold......
I am not a writer. As a reader, technical details are irrelevant for me. Either it works or it doesn't, and it does. Feeling neither over- nor under-informed, just riding the wave and loving it.
Thanks, Mom.
Still super weird for me that you're reading this, BTW. 🙈
Love,
Meg
Well, I probably wouldn't be if it wasn't so damn good....
💜🥂
GO MOM
The time jumps are challenging for me, but I understand it is a work in progress. Some great stuff here:
"But the least the cultists could do was give their robot doppelgangers a functioning cock." Fiirst priority if you ask me...
“Did Renata clean my office today?” “I think we need to let Renata go,” Ah. Curious clues...
Hornets? HORNETS!!?
The time jumping is a bit of a pill. Trouble is, if this was a movie there would be no issue with jumping back and forth, because there would be enough visual/style/mood clues to let you know what world you were in. I'm hoping to be able to create the mood shift portion through the storytelling - chapters 1 and 3 are decidedly less "sunny", whereas the chapter with Harold has a nice filter of hope and horniness laid over it (at least that's what I was going for. :-)
I'm about to dive into a YA novel that tells a story in alternating timelines (it's not the first of that structure that I've read). Granted, it's a romance, not a hot mess of debauchery, but maybe it will offer some insight on how to successfully maneuver two timelines simultaneously.
Learning as I go - as I should have expected drafting this baby in front of other humans - but I've already seen the potential for an entirely different story opening. Alas, I will have to hang on to that for draft two!
Thanks for reading, Sharron. I appreciate your commitment!!!
A good change of pace chapter that kept the momentum of the previous episodes.
I still can't quite figure out Celeste, but that could be my defective Y chromosome.
I'm not a fan of time jumps in really any format, but one (obvious) way to anchor the reader might be simply to put dates atop each section(e.g., Fall 2022, Spring 2023, etc.)
Because I write the way the write, I'm already feeling the drive of this story to be less of a who-dunnit? and more of a WHO-IS-IT? So, the fact that you're murky on Celeste is a good thing at this point. 👍🏼
Yeah. Time jumps suck. The book I'm reading now is doing the date thing at the top of each chapter. But the jump back is 15 years, not 3 months, which is what I'm envisioning here. So... tricky.
Incidentally, the book I'm reading is full-on bestseller romance trash. You'd hate it. I hate it. But it's making someone very rich. Two people actually. It's co-authored. 🙄
“Celeste allowed young Harold to stoke her feminine fire” - ah, so she’s a redhead
I don’t know, Meg. You’re real good at tension. This time jumping... deflates it.
And I love time jumps! And I’m along for the ride! I just hope there’ll be some escalating will they or won’t they... or I guess in this story, where will they or where won’t they... you’re reminding me Harold is stiff rigormortis when I want to read about him being stiff happy to see her
On the other hand? That plant stem stimulation? Yes, please. So so so so so so so much more of that wtf dirtiness
Obviously, I plan to metaphor the hell out of their love scenes. Or their "wtf dirtiness" as you call it.
Thanks for the cheerleading. I'm going to need it to keep this saga going.
What you should beware: Everyone being miserable/horrible is going to make You and your Readers bail before too long... give someone a pet to feed and cherish and redeem their hardened heart! Otherwise your most interesting character will be the dead guy because of his plant devotion
A pet to love being both a possible character trait and metaphor for a trait that will make us interested in staying tuned in for their story/journey
Hold up, do you love them or hate them? I agree with the tension deflation - it's an unfortunate side effect of the jumping. Granted, if this story was complete you wouldn't have to wait a month between chapters. Maybe I'll consider sticking with a past tense time line for more than one chapter and then just when I have everyone ready to snap in half from the romantic tension, I'll jerk them back to the reality that Hot Harold is on ice in morgue somewhere, his murder still unsolved.
For this story, too soon to say.
In general, i think bouncing around in time is a trick that prose can do better than live action or audio so we should embrace it and challenge ourselves to exploit its possibilities. One paragraph can be now and then and tomorrow and specific and universal.
Love it! I too believe that robot dopplegangers should be "fully functional" LOL :)
It's the LEAST they can do! 😉