Good enough to be called 'The Maltese Meatloaf', and somehow you managed without a fatale cigarette in sight (or smell). Deserves a laconic voiceover for any podcast.
These lines made me spontaneously bark like a dog: “Please, call me Terrance.” “Oh, Terrance,” she cries. “I changed my mind, call me Detective.”
You really have this genre pegged, girl. To wit:
"I’m sure we can work something out as two consenting adults who recently lost our spouses in mysterious ways.”
"... my brain drops into my shorts faster than I can come up with an analogy for how turned on I am right now." Priceless. Thanks for a great read this morning! Your stories do not wait in my inbox very long!
Reading this without knowing it was satire was a treat, holy hell! 😂 You're an amazing writer and I can't wait to binge your other stuff (fingers crossed that there's a fart joke or two lingering in your archive). Subscribed! ♡
"...I can still make out every curve. Every bend. Every nipple. Even the third one she doesn’t tell people about. Not that she told me about it. I’m just a really good detective. It’s my job to notice these things."
Now, I will could never love meatloaf more! “Slurp,” that’s all I can say about this tasty piece… thank you!👍
I love noir, and over-the-top noir satire, so I gobbled this up. *Burp* More, please.
LMAO. This was hilarious! I think I know this couple. Hehe.
Don’t forget to mention your fab substack to lit agents! From what I gather they like this place and esp the built in audience. You got this!!
I loved your interview and pics! 🥰🙏
I lost count of the cliches and metaphors after the third verse!
It's as if the entire detective genre coagulated into one big ball of caramel corn and stuck to the teeth of my imagination.
All I can say is ...FUCKING FUNNY!
Keep at it, Meg.
Rob in Yautepec
Good story, but since I've barely had coffee and haven't had a cigarette yet, when I saw the title, my mind first went to Meatloaf the singer.
My brain fog, let me show you it. :P
Can I heart based on title alone?
Good enough to be called 'The Maltese Meatloaf', and somehow you managed without a fatale cigarette in sight (or smell). Deserves a laconic voiceover for any podcast.
These lines made me spontaneously bark like a dog: “Please, call me Terrance.” “Oh, Terrance,” she cries. “I changed my mind, call me Detective.”
You really have this genre pegged, girl. To wit:
"I’m sure we can work something out as two consenting adults who recently lost our spouses in mysterious ways.”
"... my brain drops into my shorts faster than I can come up with an analogy for how turned on I am right now." Priceless. Thanks for a great read this morning! Your stories do not wait in my inbox very long!
CHONKY.
Ah, I got "Who killed Roger Rabbit" mix with "The Pink Panther" without the French accent and a Bette Davies funny scene. Made me laugh.
I could not stop reading, or laughing. Bravo.
I almost died at the meatloaf burp.
I mean, the rest was pretty fucking funny but that almost made me sick lol.
Reading this without knowing it was satire was a treat, holy hell! 😂 You're an amazing writer and I can't wait to binge your other stuff (fingers crossed that there's a fart joke or two lingering in your archive). Subscribed! ♡
Hilarious! “DETECTIVE! I got it. Jesus.” Who knew noir could ring so true... ::))
"...I can still make out every curve. Every bend. Every nipple. Even the third one she doesn’t tell people about. Not that she told me about it. I’m just a really good detective. It’s my job to notice these things."
Pure gold.