Oh, you know him too? Thats Charles Liebowitz Jr, also known as Sucky Chucky.
Actually, I called mine Rupert the Cave Troll. Not so much an anti-muse as a writing inhibitor in general. He sits on my chest and makes me feel like i shouldn’t write today, and that I dont have anything worthwhile to say. He tells me that smarter people have already said what I want to say and that trying to do what they already did just makes me look like a johnny-come-lately tryhard.
A lot of times i’ll have good ideas but because Rupert is sitting on me I just can’t write it out.
Honestly, the best lesson I have learned is that its ok not to write. Sometimes im not feeling it. If i give myself permission to wait then when Rupert goes away I almost always have a flurry of energy. But i used to get into the trap of panicking when Rupert visits and trying to get him off and get him to go away. The best antidote is to ignore him. Be happy doing something else. He leaves on his own.
Hopefully sucky chucky leaves on his own too. I hope things are looking up for you, and I am looking forward to your fiction on Saturday!
Aw. Unfortunately, I have a dear friend named Chuck/Charles and wouldn't feel right naming my cave troll after him. I like the "sucky" part, though. 😊Writing this piece actually managed to put sucky to bed this round. I think calling him out publicly was an affective repellant. And now his picture is all over the internet! Thanks for reading. And for the good advice/reminder about taking a break and seeking joy away from my desk from time to time.
Generally speaking, I think there are many writers who want their work to be admired, even if not widely read. I certainly want readers to enjoy what I write and hope a larger number will over time. You're certainly not alone in the sense that we all let doubt creep in through various forms. Mine doesn't come in the form of an anti-muse, but more that I feel an overbearing desire to create and leave something of meaning behind.
Also, you should know you're a good writer, and know how to formulate a story that holds interest. I wouldn't have asked for your editorial advice otherwise. It's okay if some stories or books don't resonate with everyone. That doesn't take away from your craft. You're doing great, Meg, and I'm sure many of your subscribers agree.
Thanks Brian. ACK! I was worried people would feel the need to remind me I'm a good writer after reading this. I just wanted you to name names! 🙂I actually do think I'm a good writer. Most of my discouragement comes from knowing that being a good writer and working really, really hard aren't enough to give me a leg up on the competition. We're raised to believe hard work and dedication lead to success, but that's kind of BS. There's so much that's out of our control. The real trick is redefining was "success" means. I should be able to say that I'm already a successful writer because I'm writing books and stories every single day. But then there's the whole feeding and clothing your children and being able to retire comfortably someday stuff that never really goes away. I'm not giving up yet. This was a helpful exercise for me, though. Just putting a name (and a lamely mustached face) on the crappy feelings was enough to get them to simmer down a bit. I'm looking forward to a productive week of writing now. Thanks for your kind words and support!
Nice. It would be cool if I got really good at darts by accident and then instead of becoming a world-renowned author, I'd become a world-famous darts champion. Then I could retire on all my tournament winnings and spend the rest of my days writing for the hell of it.
Such a cliche- the millionaire dart tournament champion. I could throw a dart Willy-Nilly blindfolded and hit one of them in the kneecap. That’s how everpresent they are. If I had a nickel...
Aw Meg, you wear your heart on your sleeve and that’s what makes your writing so compelling, so irresistible. Fuck that guy. Laugh in his face. Keep at it. There’s a deep emotional truth in the way you write and you’re going to nail it (even more than you’ve already nailed it).
I like that. I was toying with Dolt Grundleson, but I may have to concede to your delightful alternative. Or combine them. Dolt Flustercuck. Jasper Grundleson. Jaz Grundleflust. Fluster McCucklegrund. Now we're getting somewhere.
I've never had an anti-muse, but there are strands of psychology that suggests that externalising those negative thoughts is a good thing. Honestly, if I conceived of my own (occasional) self-loathing as a separate person I think I might get even more stuck in my own head.
The dartboard thing is a good idea though, have you thought about a punching bag as well?
I think about punching bags all the time! Doesn't everybody? Sadly, my basement "popcorn ceiling" might collapse if I tried to hang one up down there. Good suggestion though. 🙂
I don’t have any super creative names at the moment...all I have is Brock. 😅 He looks like a Brock (and a prick) to me. (Sorry to all the decent Brocks out there, but I’ve never met one.) I don’t often say this, but I’m with you - fuck that guy!
I hate those lows, and I hit them, too. On average I still hit them once every couple of weeks. I’ve gotten better about getting over the lows quicker, too. Maybe at most they’ll last a few days now?
I once wrote a halfway decent manuscript (or so I thought) and had it torn to shreds. I mean absolutely ripped up and burned to bits. The reader didn’t have a positive thing to say about the book. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t mess with my head. It sucked. I threw in the towel for a solid six months, maybe longer. But then I said...you know what...fuck it. And got back on the bike.
At this point I’m just trying to write stories I enjoy. Substack feels like a perfect space for me to take chances and play around.
You are hands-down one of my favorites here. Almost instantly. Stay the course, Meg! You are insanely talented, and I look up to you!
Oh, and let me know if you run out of ammo. I’ll gladly supply more to keep that jerk at bay.
Okay, no one has ever told me they look up to me before, so that made my damn year. 😊It sounds to me like your manuscript was given to a "bad reader". Apologies if it was someone you otherwise like or appreciate. But there's always something positive to say, even if all it is is "HOLY SHIT, MAN, YOU WROTE A BOOK! THAT'S AMAZING!" Because it is amazing! Does the book still exist somewhere? I'd be sad if you told me you trashed it, because sometimes those things look better to us after we've taken some time away from them. OR they look really shitty, but we're in a better headspace to handle the shittiness of our own work after a hiatus. This is tough advice for me to follow because I'm always very excited about projects right after I finish them, but I have to resist the urge to give them up to feedback to soon if I'm not prepared for that feedback to be potentially... meh. You're one of my favorites, too, btw! I never miss a post, though I've been a no-show to your 50s lately. That's just because my creative brain is getting fatigued after almost four months of weekly fiction writing. It could be I'm due for a slowdown. I have unpublished novels awaiting revisions and some ready to brave the query trenches and I'm not putting enough time into either of those endeavors at the moment.
Thanks for "Brock" and for the support. If you ever write another book (and you definitely should), I hope you'll consider sending it my way for a read. I'm a nice first reader. I don't coddle, but you're going to hear about all the things you did "right", first and foremost. Which makes the "suggestions" for improvement a hell of a lot easier to take.
Oh, there’s no doubt about it, it was a shitty first draft, but I thought it had a lot of promise! Prior to writing it I thought I had built up a thick hide, but apparently not thick enough. I learned a lot from the experience. The draft still exists, so down the line I may do a rewrite of the story.
Thank you so much for the kind words! Oh, no pressure at all regarding the 50s. I “committed” to writing/responding to the Fictionistas prompt, but it never happened. Maybe next time, ha. We are all so busy...so I completely understand!
I hear you in regards to the fatigue. I went from posting two weekly stories and scaled it back to once weekly. I wanted to devote extra time to other stories/projects. At the moment I’m fleshing out “Off the Trail” (my two-part story that magically became three parts) and writing it as a novel! Those characters kept calling me back...couldn’t resist.
I really appreciate your offer! It’s incredibly generous of you. I’d love to take you up on it someday. Best wishes as you dive back in to the querying trenches. I’m not just saying this, but I feel strongly that it’s a matter of “when” for you. Stay persistent!
I was told to give my inner critic/blabbermouth a voice, one that I wouldn’t take so seriously. So I gave him Gilbert Gottfried’s voice and it worked like a charm.
I'm woefully, and chronically, behind on my reading, but I'm so glad I finally made it to this!! Your writing voice is so strong, even when you're writing about your anti-muse. I have no name ideas, but as for the picture of him, the crocs got me!
Writing is such a wonderfully terrible pass time. The highs are extra high, and the lows can be extra low. But there's something about the act of writing that always pulls you back eventually, I think! Kick Mr. Hoverboard in the knees and carry on, Meg because I love reading your stories so much!
Aw, thank you Claire! I'm laughing because at no point did I mention to my husband that the guy was wearing crocs. He came up with that detail on his own. I'll let him know you noticed/appreciated it. 🙂
I have/had a nemesis but her name was/is Deb. This guy looks like a Stanley. It’s good to know self-doubt is universal. It’s a horrible feeling, though. The irony is that your writing about self-doubt is proving that you are a great writer. I had tea spout from my nose when I read, “You haven’t been hot since college.” I usually play a few of my favorite, uplifting songs when my nemesis bothers me. One of my favs is the theme from Dragon: the Bruce Lee story.
I love that you picked this piece out. It's one of those rants I look back on and think "yikes" was I disgruntled when I wrote that or what? But the fact that it brought you tea-snorting joy makes me very happy.
I think I've defaulted to calling my "Deb" Dolt. I have a framed picture of him on my bookshelf and another copy on my dartboard. 😏
Music is always my saving grace. I can usually pull myself out of a rut by getting outside and moving to my "walking" playlist. It features A LOT of Meghan Trainor songs. 🙂
Thank you so much for reading!
P.S. I took a spin around your Substack and got very overwhelmed. It all looks so good, and I don't know where to start. If you have a few posts that you're particularly proud of or think would be a good jumping off point for me, please share links! Thank you!
I think “rants’ are some of the best posts. Thank for the invitation to share some links: the first post links to a few basic book marketing posts and then two of my favorites - my rant on naysayers in the form of the Poseidon Adventure movie and a podcast interview with Book Marketing guru, John Kremer.
I finally got around to reading this! You are so candid and transparent, and your writing feels like the biggest ode to how isolating creating and writing can feel. I relate (oh so well, mind you) with that. I have no name for this hoverboarding prick... But, by God, I've never seen the words "anti-muse" before - and now, I can't imagine him being known as anything else. I've also never considered that all my naysayers could be summed up with two goddamn syllables, holy hell. Anyways, screw that douche (metaphorically, of course). You're as talented as they come, Meg! ♡
Thanks for reading, Malayka! I think I landed on Dolt Grundleson in the end. He remains in a flimsy frame on my desk as a constant reminder that I shouldn't let the douchebags get me down. I also have a copy of his likeness taped to a dartboard in my basement. For when I'm feeling sporty. 😉
I do. It hasn't reared its head with my writing yet (but it will if I keep seeing "how to grow your substack!" posts) but with my craft based business it tells me all the time that no one wants what I sell, no one reads my blogs, there's no point putting anything out there because it already exists. It's crushing but absolutely no one has ever said anything of that nature to me. I hate my brain sometimes.
Oh, you know him too? Thats Charles Liebowitz Jr, also known as Sucky Chucky.
Actually, I called mine Rupert the Cave Troll. Not so much an anti-muse as a writing inhibitor in general. He sits on my chest and makes me feel like i shouldn’t write today, and that I dont have anything worthwhile to say. He tells me that smarter people have already said what I want to say and that trying to do what they already did just makes me look like a johnny-come-lately tryhard.
A lot of times i’ll have good ideas but because Rupert is sitting on me I just can’t write it out.
Honestly, the best lesson I have learned is that its ok not to write. Sometimes im not feeling it. If i give myself permission to wait then when Rupert goes away I almost always have a flurry of energy. But i used to get into the trap of panicking when Rupert visits and trying to get him off and get him to go away. The best antidote is to ignore him. Be happy doing something else. He leaves on his own.
Hopefully sucky chucky leaves on his own too. I hope things are looking up for you, and I am looking forward to your fiction on Saturday!
Aw. Unfortunately, I have a dear friend named Chuck/Charles and wouldn't feel right naming my cave troll after him. I like the "sucky" part, though. 😊Writing this piece actually managed to put sucky to bed this round. I think calling him out publicly was an affective repellant. And now his picture is all over the internet! Thanks for reading. And for the good advice/reminder about taking a break and seeking joy away from my desk from time to time.
Generally speaking, I think there are many writers who want their work to be admired, even if not widely read. I certainly want readers to enjoy what I write and hope a larger number will over time. You're certainly not alone in the sense that we all let doubt creep in through various forms. Mine doesn't come in the form of an anti-muse, but more that I feel an overbearing desire to create and leave something of meaning behind.
Also, you should know you're a good writer, and know how to formulate a story that holds interest. I wouldn't have asked for your editorial advice otherwise. It's okay if some stories or books don't resonate with everyone. That doesn't take away from your craft. You're doing great, Meg, and I'm sure many of your subscribers agree.
Thanks Brian. ACK! I was worried people would feel the need to remind me I'm a good writer after reading this. I just wanted you to name names! 🙂I actually do think I'm a good writer. Most of my discouragement comes from knowing that being a good writer and working really, really hard aren't enough to give me a leg up on the competition. We're raised to believe hard work and dedication lead to success, but that's kind of BS. There's so much that's out of our control. The real trick is redefining was "success" means. I should be able to say that I'm already a successful writer because I'm writing books and stories every single day. But then there's the whole feeding and clothing your children and being able to retire comfortably someday stuff that never really goes away. I'm not giving up yet. This was a helpful exercise for me, though. Just putting a name (and a lamely mustached face) on the crappy feelings was enough to get them to simmer down a bit. I'm looking forward to a productive week of writing now. Thanks for your kind words and support!
I can relate to that. I'm right there with ya.
Getting pretty good at darts too.
Nice. It would be cool if I got really good at darts by accident and then instead of becoming a world-renowned author, I'd become a world-famous darts champion. Then I could retire on all my tournament winnings and spend the rest of my days writing for the hell of it.
Such a cliche- the millionaire dart tournament champion. I could throw a dart Willy-Nilly blindfolded and hit one of them in the kneecap. That’s how everpresent they are. If I had a nickel...
Aw Meg, you wear your heart on your sleeve and that’s what makes your writing so compelling, so irresistible. Fuck that guy. Laugh in his face. Keep at it. There’s a deep emotional truth in the way you write and you’re going to nail it (even more than you’ve already nailed it).
Thank you, Tom. 🧡💚💛
🖕🖕🏽🖕🏿
It's all about the engagement for me. 😂🖕
Oh, and call him Dick Willy.
Ha! I can't. But only because of something I have planned for a future fiction piece. 😂
Jasper Flustercuck
I like that. I was toying with Dolt Grundleson, but I may have to concede to your delightful alternative. Or combine them. Dolt Flustercuck. Jasper Grundleson. Jaz Grundleflust. Fluster McCucklegrund. Now we're getting somewhere.
Jacque De Manure.
I've never had an anti-muse, but there are strands of psychology that suggests that externalising those negative thoughts is a good thing. Honestly, if I conceived of my own (occasional) self-loathing as a separate person I think I might get even more stuck in my own head.
The dartboard thing is a good idea though, have you thought about a punching bag as well?
Ah. He's French. C'est Magnifique!
I think about punching bags all the time! Doesn't everybody? Sadly, my basement "popcorn ceiling" might collapse if I tried to hang one up down there. Good suggestion though. 🙂
I don’t have any super creative names at the moment...all I have is Brock. 😅 He looks like a Brock (and a prick) to me. (Sorry to all the decent Brocks out there, but I’ve never met one.) I don’t often say this, but I’m with you - fuck that guy!
I hate those lows, and I hit them, too. On average I still hit them once every couple of weeks. I’ve gotten better about getting over the lows quicker, too. Maybe at most they’ll last a few days now?
I once wrote a halfway decent manuscript (or so I thought) and had it torn to shreds. I mean absolutely ripped up and burned to bits. The reader didn’t have a positive thing to say about the book. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t mess with my head. It sucked. I threw in the towel for a solid six months, maybe longer. But then I said...you know what...fuck it. And got back on the bike.
At this point I’m just trying to write stories I enjoy. Substack feels like a perfect space for me to take chances and play around.
You are hands-down one of my favorites here. Almost instantly. Stay the course, Meg! You are insanely talented, and I look up to you!
Oh, and let me know if you run out of ammo. I’ll gladly supply more to keep that jerk at bay.
Okay, no one has ever told me they look up to me before, so that made my damn year. 😊It sounds to me like your manuscript was given to a "bad reader". Apologies if it was someone you otherwise like or appreciate. But there's always something positive to say, even if all it is is "HOLY SHIT, MAN, YOU WROTE A BOOK! THAT'S AMAZING!" Because it is amazing! Does the book still exist somewhere? I'd be sad if you told me you trashed it, because sometimes those things look better to us after we've taken some time away from them. OR they look really shitty, but we're in a better headspace to handle the shittiness of our own work after a hiatus. This is tough advice for me to follow because I'm always very excited about projects right after I finish them, but I have to resist the urge to give them up to feedback to soon if I'm not prepared for that feedback to be potentially... meh. You're one of my favorites, too, btw! I never miss a post, though I've been a no-show to your 50s lately. That's just because my creative brain is getting fatigued after almost four months of weekly fiction writing. It could be I'm due for a slowdown. I have unpublished novels awaiting revisions and some ready to brave the query trenches and I'm not putting enough time into either of those endeavors at the moment.
Thanks for "Brock" and for the support. If you ever write another book (and you definitely should), I hope you'll consider sending it my way for a read. I'm a nice first reader. I don't coddle, but you're going to hear about all the things you did "right", first and foremost. Which makes the "suggestions" for improvement a hell of a lot easier to take.
Oh, there’s no doubt about it, it was a shitty first draft, but I thought it had a lot of promise! Prior to writing it I thought I had built up a thick hide, but apparently not thick enough. I learned a lot from the experience. The draft still exists, so down the line I may do a rewrite of the story.
Thank you so much for the kind words! Oh, no pressure at all regarding the 50s. I “committed” to writing/responding to the Fictionistas prompt, but it never happened. Maybe next time, ha. We are all so busy...so I completely understand!
I hear you in regards to the fatigue. I went from posting two weekly stories and scaled it back to once weekly. I wanted to devote extra time to other stories/projects. At the moment I’m fleshing out “Off the Trail” (my two-part story that magically became three parts) and writing it as a novel! Those characters kept calling me back...couldn’t resist.
I really appreciate your offer! It’s incredibly generous of you. I’d love to take you up on it someday. Best wishes as you dive back in to the querying trenches. I’m not just saying this, but I feel strongly that it’s a matter of “when” for you. Stay persistent!
Happy writing, Meg! 😀
I was told to give my inner critic/blabbermouth a voice, one that I wouldn’t take so seriously. So I gave him Gilbert Gottfried’s voice and it worked like a charm.
My guy sounds like Butthead from Beavis and Butthead, but less charming.
I'm woefully, and chronically, behind on my reading, but I'm so glad I finally made it to this!! Your writing voice is so strong, even when you're writing about your anti-muse. I have no name ideas, but as for the picture of him, the crocs got me!
Writing is such a wonderfully terrible pass time. The highs are extra high, and the lows can be extra low. But there's something about the act of writing that always pulls you back eventually, I think! Kick Mr. Hoverboard in the knees and carry on, Meg because I love reading your stories so much!
Aw, thank you Claire! I'm laughing because at no point did I mention to my husband that the guy was wearing crocs. He came up with that detail on his own. I'll let him know you noticed/appreciated it. 🙂
I have/had a nemesis but her name was/is Deb. This guy looks like a Stanley. It’s good to know self-doubt is universal. It’s a horrible feeling, though. The irony is that your writing about self-doubt is proving that you are a great writer. I had tea spout from my nose when I read, “You haven’t been hot since college.” I usually play a few of my favorite, uplifting songs when my nemesis bothers me. One of my favs is the theme from Dragon: the Bruce Lee story.
Oh Claudine! I hope the tea wasn't too hot. 😂
I love that you picked this piece out. It's one of those rants I look back on and think "yikes" was I disgruntled when I wrote that or what? But the fact that it brought you tea-snorting joy makes me very happy.
I think I've defaulted to calling my "Deb" Dolt. I have a framed picture of him on my bookshelf and another copy on my dartboard. 😏
Music is always my saving grace. I can usually pull myself out of a rut by getting outside and moving to my "walking" playlist. It features A LOT of Meghan Trainor songs. 🙂
Thank you so much for reading!
P.S. I took a spin around your Substack and got very overwhelmed. It all looks so good, and I don't know where to start. If you have a few posts that you're particularly proud of or think would be a good jumping off point for me, please share links! Thank you!
I think “rants’ are some of the best posts. Thank for the invitation to share some links: the first post links to a few basic book marketing posts and then two of my favorites - my rant on naysayers in the form of the Poseidon Adventure movie and a podcast interview with Book Marketing guru, John Kremer.
https://claudinewolk.substack.com/p/book-marketing-fundamentals-index
https://claudinewolk.substack.com/p/the-poseidon-adventure-lesson-reliance
https://claudinewolk.substack.com/p/book-marketing-with-expert-john-kremer#details
Thank you! I've bookmarked all three of these. Looking forward to reading (and listening to) them.
And here's one more of my "rants" for the road: https://stockfiction.substack.com/p/be-the-crocus
I finally got around to reading this! You are so candid and transparent, and your writing feels like the biggest ode to how isolating creating and writing can feel. I relate (oh so well, mind you) with that. I have no name for this hoverboarding prick... But, by God, I've never seen the words "anti-muse" before - and now, I can't imagine him being known as anything else. I've also never considered that all my naysayers could be summed up with two goddamn syllables, holy hell. Anyways, screw that douche (metaphorically, of course). You're as talented as they come, Meg! ♡
Thanks for reading, Malayka! I think I landed on Dolt Grundleson in the end. He remains in a flimsy frame on my desk as a constant reminder that I shouldn't let the douchebags get me down. I also have a copy of his likeness taped to a dartboard in my basement. For when I'm feeling sporty. 😉
That name's definitely one for the History books - and it sticks, too! Here's to hoping every dart lands! 🥰
I do. It hasn't reared its head with my writing yet (but it will if I keep seeing "how to grow your substack!" posts) but with my craft based business it tells me all the time that no one wants what I sell, no one reads my blogs, there's no point putting anything out there because it already exists. It's crushing but absolutely no one has ever said anything of that nature to me. I hate my brain sometimes.
Indeed. The brain is a double-edged sword. We need it to create stuff, but we don't need it to gum up our productivity with nay-saying nonsense.
You are heard, Hanna. Thanks for reading!!!