I don’t usually dedicate posts to individuals, but this one is for Wil.
I’m three days late to the New Year’s party and that’s partly by accident and partly on purpose.
I honestly would have posted something on or around the NYE/NYD holiday, if I had something to post. But life superseded work, as it should, and I chose not to push for something that wasn’t ready to be.
I also wasn’t particularly jazzed about writing a retrospective of 2023 or a prognostication of 2024 because a lot of other people were doing that, and I didn’t want to get lost in the dizzying dance of looking forward and looking back because both of those things have a habit of worrying me and/or making me sad. Sup, anxiety.
And maybe I was feeling pressured to have a BIG list of wins and an even BIGGER list of wants to share with all of you so you’d be confident I was getting real stuff done and this writing thing is all I want to do and I’m not about to throw in the towel even though I’m a little mixed up about what direction I’m heading and whether my goals will be compelling enough for you to want to keep reading and following me on my journey.
If there’s one thing I do want in 2024, it’s to feel less pressure to produce things (including goals) out of obligation or worse, out of fear.
But the pressure to end (or start) the calendar year with SOMETHING won out, because here we are!
And it turns out I AM taking a look back, which inevitably will turn into a look forward, so go figure and ha-ha and so much for my high and mighty contrarianism.
Over the holidays, I spent some time leisurely perusing my writer notebooks from last year and found a handful of keepsakes I’d like to carry forward. Bits of wisdom from other writers and ideas of my own that once sparked something in me bright enough to be illegibly eagerly written down so as to be rediscovered when I finally took some time to pause and reflect.
I also strolled through my file folders to wave at all my unfinished drafts of short stories, humor rants, and essays.
There were a lot. At least thirty documents.
Worlds and characters and story arcs that never made it out of storage flooded my brain, and I realized …
Regardless of how impressive my list of accomplishments in 2023, my list of un-accomplishments is just as inspiring.
So, rather than share how many stories I published last year, how many new subscribers I welcomed, coins I earned, or accolades I won, I want to share with you a glimpse of the work I did, the tales I spun, and the thoughts I wrestled with, behind the scenes.
The ones that have not (yet) seen the light of day.
FICTION
The stories listed here are in various states of “incomplete.” Some have a few hundred words, some have a thousand, some have no words at all. But they all have a beginning, middle, and end locked up somewhere in my imagination.
Standing Up
A young man finally obeys his abusive father’s command by standing up to his bully.
The Egg and the Boulder
A parable on perseverance. A portion of this story ended up in my Year One film retrospective. If you haven’t watched it, please do. It’s awfully nice. 💜
Meatloaf Noir
A bored couple attempts to spice up their Tuesday night leftovers with some espionage-themed role play.
The Man with the Exploding Heart
A man born with an oversized heart is told he will die if he loves too often or too much in his lifetime.
Beta
A woman attempts to end things with her partner, but [he] keeps inconveniently “glitching” during their conversation.
Turntable
A young girl plays “romance” at home while her older sister is assaulted by her date across town.
Heartbreakers
A middle-aged woman reluctantly entertains the female escort her husband hired to celebrate their anniversary.
Lionheart
A timid divorcee discovers halfway through a brilliantly successful blind date that her companion is in a wheelchair.
Thief
A woman tries to convince authorities that her heart has been stolen—literally—and the culprit is still at large.
The Martyr
In a future dystopia, a condemned man is allowed two minutes to speak to a crowd of fellow convicts before he is publicly executed.
The Layover (Novella)
Two virtual strangers, who have only ever communicated through texts and email, risk disillusionment, and the upheaval of their respective lives and marriages, when they decide to meet in secret on a four-hour layover in an unfamiliar city.
ESSAYS
While there was certainly an abundance of abandoned fiction titles in my stores, I found more than twice as many essays, which proves to me my confidence in writing personal narratives needs bolstering in the New Year.
Oh crap. Did I just publicly set a goal?
The Cult of Authenticity
I had a sizeable beef with the buzz phrase, “authentic self.”
“Self” Made “Brand”
I had an equally large beef around feeling pressured to “Brand” my “Self.”
Story Envy: The Scourge of Writerly Friendship
I was being kind of a jerk to my writer friend, and I was determined to figure out why so I could knock it off.
Confidence (comma) Man | Alternate Title - I Can Do This
An attempt to manifest confidence where it didn’t exist based on solid evidence it did exist. I just couldn’t see it.
I Write Good Men – Or So I’m Told
Inspired by
who asked me to reveal my secret for brilliantly occupying a male headspace in one of my short stories.
I Don’t Need a Therapist, I Need an Editor: Navigating the Saggy Middle
I thought I’d figured out that by removing clunky, irrelevant, journey-clogging elements from my real life, my middle-age narrative wouldn’t feel so sluggish.
Lil Snaps – On Closing Loops and Resolving the Chord, in Life and Fiction
Inspired by this guy 😍
A Tangible Quest – Have We Lost Touch with Touching Things?
Well, have we?
Can I Get a Success Lite? – And How Happy Will It Make Me?
My search for a version of “success” I might actually be wired to achieve.
Detours and Dynamite
I was drawing parallels between navigating the ongoing road construction in my neighborhood and my quest to better deal with uncertainty.
I Feel Great – And Other Lies I Tell Myself
When I practiced positive thinking successfully - for like a day.
The Leggiest Among Them - My Unrequited Love Affair with Dance
A throwback piece on my years in musical theater.
None of My Lovers Have Brown Eyes – On Bravery in Characterization
I’m afraid to include non-white characters in my stories and I want to get past that.
Does Substack Make You Horny? – Intellectually, Baby, Yeah!
Sadly, this one feels passe now, but there was a time, in the old days of a year ago, when Substack felt like a low-risk, intellectual side piece for middle-aged, creative types.
43 Truths and a Lie
A would-be birthday post.
Secret Sandwich – How My Kid Saved Christmas
A would-have-been holiday post.
I Am Cautiously Optimistic! – Perfectly Reasonable Goals for 2024
Ha!
Closed Book – A Personal Essay on Why I Don’t Write Personal Essays
Double Ha!
Podcasts
Yep. I was planning to (and then didn’t) start a podcast last year.
But I made this neat promo spot for one.
Imagine the thirty titles you’ve just perused were on a menu.
Which item would you order?
Let me know in the comments!
And now, the aforementioned look forward ...
I Am Cautiously Optimistic
I started a new notebook.
The first entry is a transplant of the keepsakes I unearthed when I went through my old notebook.
My original “get results” goal for Stock Fiction, set in October of 2022.
Build a platform by creating an unfiltered outlet for my voice.
Results:
I will have an audience.
I will have a body of work.
Takeaways from a conference panel, titled “What I Wish I’d Known.”
Dream big but execute small.
You’re not defined by your first project.
It IS about who you know.
Make connections and keep them.
Don’t fight your voice.
Know and trust your process.
You can ALWAYS go deeper.
My “WORK” list. Reassessed.
This list originally had eight items on it. Things I thought I “should” be consistently doing to prove I’m “working” as a writer.
I’ve cut it down to the three things I most want to do.
Write new fiction and nonfiction.
Engage with my audience.
Read books.
There they are, friends. My “goals” for 2024.
They’re not flashy. They’re barely specific. And they’re not particularly BIG.
But they’re honest.
And I’m confident I will crush every last one of them.
A Toast.
🥂To
and , the newest Stock Fiction FOREVER subscribers, and to all my FOREVERS, past, present, and future!🥂To my husband, my kiddos, my parents, and my siblings, who encourage me every day to keep doing this because they know it makes me happy.
🥂To the LOL, my OG writers' group, still going strong after two years!
🥂To everyone reading these words, the other words I have written, and the words I will write.
🥂And lastly, to the individuals on this platform who are now dear to me. You weren’t dear to me before I came to Substack because I didn’t know you existed. But I do now, and I’m grateful. I hope trust you know who you are.
Happy New Year.
P.S. If anyone wants to “Talk Fiction” with me in 2024, let me know. Cuz that’s definitely happening.
P.P.S. I’ll take your story order now.
I request a story for mothers
Holy cow, all I can say is this: you’ve got more ideas floating around in your head than I do! I know that I only write the ones that keep resurfacing, and I tend to drop the one-offs, the little sparks that I look back on and go “huh?” But there are some gems in there.