I’m sure this piece will resonate with so many other writers as it does for me. Being any kind of independent artist is brutal for all the reasons you enumerated. Producing the work, trying to get the work noticed and be paid for it can transform even the most grounded person into a navel-gazing, neurotic, narcissistic mess. doing any kind of day job in my experience has been like taking off leg weights. Glad you’re trying something new. I think it will only help the work.
The floral designs are amazing. To be honest I am not sure I can empathize with a lot of your feelings here, but they were well written and thus I could sympathize.
Ultimately, you wrote this well because you were speaking from conviction and, as you have found, that is really the key.
Oh dear, Meg. When your art becomes "Hard. Hard. Hard. Hard. Hard. Hard. HARD!!!!" it is no longer art. It is just another drudgery and source of stress. Your plan makes so much sense to me. Take the pressure off, write when you are moved to write. Gather ideas in a pocket notebook while you work with flowers. Breathe deep. [ It reminds me of my own experience singing in a joyful rock band. When we struggled to turn pro, it ruined music for me -- it was just work.] The photos of your flowers were so alive, they filled my head with the clearest, freshest fragrance. Beautiful. The colors chosen for photos four and five are delicious!
The terrible thing is, this has happened to me before. Many times. Pretty much anytime I've tried to "make a living" doing what I love. Theater, Cooking, Baking, Music. I left them all behind because I couldn't just let them be joy for joy's sake. I don't want to make the same mistake with writing, as it's something I know I'll be able to do for many, many years yet. Honestly, it just felt really good to remember that I actually possess marketable skills. For all my decades of playing musical jobs, I managed to pick up a few useful things along the way. 💜
I can, for obvious reasons, relate to a lot of that unease. It’s surprising how much having a toe dipped in something else—a gig, a hobby, a weekly tap-dancing contest—can spare your sanity. I’m not even good at my escapes, and I think they’ve saved my life.
I read this post based on your shout-out, so thank you! And I really agree that having a toe dipped in something else, especially something that feels easy and joyful, can actually be the thing that spares and reinvigorates you. Last summer I started working one day a week at my friend's resale clothing shop. It's two blocks from my house, I've gotten to know the regulars, we play good music, and I get to see some of the scores as they're brought in. It's still work, and some days it really feels like work, but it mostly just feels like a good, easy time away from my screen. All these months later and I wouldn't trade that weekly afternoon for anything.
I'm looking forward to the change of scenery very much. I think it's going to benefit my writing in the long run. And in the short term it's going to do wonders for my mental health. 💜
This maneuver is long overdue for me. My problem has always been wanting the escape to be the "thing" rather than just finding the "thing" that allows me to have the escape. And TBH, I'm getting too old for that shit. 😂
This is hands-down one of my favorite things you've ever written, Meg. You 100% nailed it. If the universe was a fair and just place (it is not, as we know) *this* would be the post that turns you into an overnight success.
Also now you've obligated yourself to sharing more pictures of flower arrangements in the future.
Congratulations on your new job, Megan. Love the pep talk you’re giving yourself when it comes to writing. It reminds of Octavia Butler’s journals, she also used to tell herself that she will become a bestselling author and afford to buy a home in a good neighborhood.
As I was reaching the end of this, I made a realization. An obvious one, if we would only recognize it. We are who we are, 24/7. It never ends, and there is no quitting it, no matter how much we don't like it. A job is defined by someone else, but we are who we are. If we don't like our job, we can quit. But if we don't like our writing????
Writers need perspective, or else what's the point? Perspective is augmented by experience out there in the real world. Most of what I write stems from my own experience out there in that real world. As they say, write what you know. If I hadn't spent all those years doing the things I did, I wouldn't be the writer that I am. So, don't think of flower arranging as a job, think of it as field research...
I think part of the reason I've been struggling with my writing is because I haven't been engaging with life outside of it for a very long time. I was just waiting for the right opportunity to come along and whisk me away on my next research adventure, I suppose.
Interestingly, the first novel I ever wrote featured a teen protagonist who worked in her stepmother's flower shop. I pulled a lot from my own experience to create hers for that story.
A large percentage of the best writers in the world had part or full-time jobs in addition to writing. Only a very small number of writers can make a living at it, outside of maybe journalism (and that is becoming rarer and rarer these days). So it seems to me that you have the best of both worlds now!
It's good to have a gig that uses other parts of your brain. For instance, my buddy and neighbor Michael Earl Craig is very successful as both a poet, and a farrier. He's spoken in a couple of interviews about how having something so spatial for work (and also, horses) informs his thinky writing work. I find all my maker practices: sewing, gardening, knitting -- really keep me out of the same brain grooves ... Have fun! Flowers! and a little $$ too ...
You're right about keeping your brain on its toes with varied activities, Charlotte.
I'd been telling myself that if I went back to work, I'd want to hang out with plants or animals. 🙂 I love them both and find spending time with them incredibly therapeutic. They're good listeners, too.
That's a helluva good piece of writing, Meg, and an thrilling turn of events. Excited to read some 'Tales from the Flower Shop' under a pen name of Petal Fronds, a girl who indiscreetly shares the foibles of eccentric customers. But also, delighted that there's going to be balance, a valve to open to let off steam, a change of scene etc. Add in, pocket money for new notebooks!
I SO relate to this. You just stated my feelings exactly. I’ve been eyeing Indeed as well. The only problem is that I have no back talent. Ugh. Congrats on the PT gig! You’re a talented floral arranger and writer!
I'm sure you have back talent. Honestly, my resume is, and I quote myself, "a patchwork quilt of ridiculousness." 😂 I've been a dream chaser my whole life, so I've earned very little legitimate CRED. I've also failed to catch any of those dreams I was chasing. But the alternative is I could have spent 25 years in corporate drudgery making lots of money and having no time to pursue my passions. I think I made the right choice. 💜
I suggest we both keep writing because we're good at it. And because we love it. Win win.
Congratulations on the job!!!!! Your floral designs are beautiful, but don't give up on your writing (I think you are doing a great job).
Thank you, Theo! No plans to give up the dream. 😊 Just looking to sprinkle a little reality on top to keep myself grounded.
Kudos on your new job, Meg. I think you have a lot more courage than most of your colleagues.. You faced your situation and did something about it.
Keep up the good work; honesty is (usually) the best policy.
Rob in Yautepec
Thank you so much for the support, Rob!
I’m sure this piece will resonate with so many other writers as it does for me. Being any kind of independent artist is brutal for all the reasons you enumerated. Producing the work, trying to get the work noticed and be paid for it can transform even the most grounded person into a navel-gazing, neurotic, narcissistic mess. doing any kind of day job in my experience has been like taking off leg weights. Glad you’re trying something new. I think it will only help the work.
I agree, Ben. I'm looking forward to reaping the benefits of work without leg weights. Good analogy, btw. 💜
The floral designs are amazing. To be honest I am not sure I can empathize with a lot of your feelings here, but they were well written and thus I could sympathize.
Ultimately, you wrote this well because you were speaking from conviction and, as you have found, that is really the key.
Thanks for hearing me out, Clancy! I appreciate it.
Oh dear, Meg. When your art becomes "Hard. Hard. Hard. Hard. Hard. Hard. HARD!!!!" it is no longer art. It is just another drudgery and source of stress. Your plan makes so much sense to me. Take the pressure off, write when you are moved to write. Gather ideas in a pocket notebook while you work with flowers. Breathe deep. [ It reminds me of my own experience singing in a joyful rock band. When we struggled to turn pro, it ruined music for me -- it was just work.] The photos of your flowers were so alive, they filled my head with the clearest, freshest fragrance. Beautiful. The colors chosen for photos four and five are delicious!
The terrible thing is, this has happened to me before. Many times. Pretty much anytime I've tried to "make a living" doing what I love. Theater, Cooking, Baking, Music. I left them all behind because I couldn't just let them be joy for joy's sake. I don't want to make the same mistake with writing, as it's something I know I'll be able to do for many, many years yet. Honestly, it just felt really good to remember that I actually possess marketable skills. For all my decades of playing musical jobs, I managed to pick up a few useful things along the way. 💜
I can, for obvious reasons, relate to a lot of that unease. It’s surprising how much having a toe dipped in something else—a gig, a hobby, a weekly tap-dancing contest—can spare your sanity. I’m not even good at my escapes, and I think they’ve saved my life.
It helps that those arrangements are great.
I read this post based on your shout-out, so thank you! And I really agree that having a toe dipped in something else, especially something that feels easy and joyful, can actually be the thing that spares and reinvigorates you. Last summer I started working one day a week at my friend's resale clothing shop. It's two blocks from my house, I've gotten to know the regulars, we play good music, and I get to see some of the scores as they're brought in. It's still work, and some days it really feels like work, but it mostly just feels like a good, easy time away from my screen. All these months later and I wouldn't trade that weekly afternoon for anything.
It’s good to take a break for an afternoon from obsessing about the same things over and over, right?
🥂
Thanks for reading, Erin!
I'm looking forward to the change of scenery very much. I think it's going to benefit my writing in the long run. And in the short term it's going to do wonders for my mental health. 💜
Thanks, Dennard. 💜
This maneuver is long overdue for me. My problem has always been wanting the escape to be the "thing" rather than just finding the "thing" that allows me to have the escape. And TBH, I'm getting too old for that shit. 😂
This is hands-down one of my favorite things you've ever written, Meg. You 100% nailed it. If the universe was a fair and just place (it is not, as we know) *this* would be the post that turns you into an overnight success.
Also now you've obligated yourself to sharing more pictures of flower arrangements in the future.
Actually, I was kicking myself for not snapping a photo of my "exam" for this piece. Guess I didn't know I was going to write it yet.
And this post being one of your all-time favorites of mine already makes it a success.
BFF4eva. 💜🥂
Congratulations on your new job, Megan. Love the pep talk you’re giving yourself when it comes to writing. It reminds of Octavia Butler’s journals, she also used to tell herself that she will become a bestselling author and afford to buy a home in a good neighborhood.
Thank you, Claudia! I'm all for positive mantras. I just struggle to remember them from time to time. 🙂
I can totally relate. I collect inspirational quotes but I can’t remember where. 🤣
As I was reaching the end of this, I made a realization. An obvious one, if we would only recognize it. We are who we are, 24/7. It never ends, and there is no quitting it, no matter how much we don't like it. A job is defined by someone else, but we are who we are. If we don't like our job, we can quit. But if we don't like our writing????
Writers need perspective, or else what's the point? Perspective is augmented by experience out there in the real world. Most of what I write stems from my own experience out there in that real world. As they say, write what you know. If I hadn't spent all those years doing the things I did, I wouldn't be the writer that I am. So, don't think of flower arranging as a job, think of it as field research...
100%!
I think part of the reason I've been struggling with my writing is because I haven't been engaging with life outside of it for a very long time. I was just waiting for the right opportunity to come along and whisk me away on my next research adventure, I suppose.
Interestingly, the first novel I ever wrote featured a teen protagonist who worked in her stepmother's flower shop. I pulled a lot from my own experience to create hers for that story.
A large percentage of the best writers in the world had part or full-time jobs in addition to writing. Only a very small number of writers can make a living at it, outside of maybe journalism (and that is becoming rarer and rarer these days). So it seems to me that you have the best of both worlds now!
Thanks, Steve!
Agreed. I think this will create some much-needed work-life-work balance for me. 😉
It's good to have a gig that uses other parts of your brain. For instance, my buddy and neighbor Michael Earl Craig is very successful as both a poet, and a farrier. He's spoken in a couple of interviews about how having something so spatial for work (and also, horses) informs his thinky writing work. I find all my maker practices: sewing, gardening, knitting -- really keep me out of the same brain grooves ... Have fun! Flowers! and a little $$ too ...
You're right about keeping your brain on its toes with varied activities, Charlotte.
I'd been telling myself that if I went back to work, I'd want to hang out with plants or animals. 🙂 I love them both and find spending time with them incredibly therapeutic. They're good listeners, too.
That's a helluva good piece of writing, Meg, and an thrilling turn of events. Excited to read some 'Tales from the Flower Shop' under a pen name of Petal Fronds, a girl who indiscreetly shares the foibles of eccentric customers. But also, delighted that there's going to be balance, a valve to open to let off steam, a change of scene etc. Add in, pocket money for new notebooks!
Onwards. B
And upwards, Barrie!
I think Petal Fronds needs to solve mysteries as a side gig.
I'll be saving my pocket money for self-publishing projects, methinks. Gathering breadcrumbs along the trail Samuel LB has blazed for all of us.
Ooh, self-publishing project ... yes, yes!
Congrats, sounds like a good move
🥂
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am happy that you showed your writing viewers what you can do with flowers.....
I SO relate to this. You just stated my feelings exactly. I’ve been eyeing Indeed as well. The only problem is that I have no back talent. Ugh. Congrats on the PT gig! You’re a talented floral arranger and writer!
I'm sure you have back talent. Honestly, my resume is, and I quote myself, "a patchwork quilt of ridiculousness." 😂 I've been a dream chaser my whole life, so I've earned very little legitimate CRED. I've also failed to catch any of those dreams I was chasing. But the alternative is I could have spent 25 years in corporate drudgery making lots of money and having no time to pursue my passions. I think I made the right choice. 💜
I suggest we both keep writing because we're good at it. And because we love it. Win win.
You definitely made the right choice and are a role model for your kids. 🥰🥰
Aw. Thank you! 💜💜
I LOVE and appreciate this lesson very much. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
Thank YOU, Kara! 💜