"Best Seller" Pitch Fiction
So long as it’s written by YOU with your signature snark, I’d read the duck out of #1 — but plot twist w the necromancer friend required: either she’s a Jason Bourne style programmed assassin or her husband’s lover or both, and she needs to have a pet who turns against her at a vital moment… also “Em Eaulders”? YES!!!
I laughed out loud at all of these but Home Raker eeks out a win for me. It’s simultaneously the trashiest sounding airport novel and at the very top of my reading list! Though, you’ve got to write it with the same irreverential self-awareness as you did the synopsis 👌
I was all in on Home Raker until I got to Say My Neighm. I'm a sucker for a doomed, forbidden romance and simply must know what happens to those wild, young, interspecies lovers.
Gah, I change my pick to Home Raker! 🤣 The horse one was just so strange I was dying to see how you’d set it up! All of these would be hilarious.
I want more HOME RAKER all the way!
"...indestructible patriarchy and irreversible death...."
"...after an ample amount of attention from Annabelle, Timothy spontaneously combusts..."
" A tour de France"
This is so f****g funny. Well, and it also shows the kinds of books you READ. Good to know.
They all made me laugh out loud, but I had to pick #2 for obvious reasons.
I read the synopsis for Say My Neighm and my immediate thought was that I wouldn't even be surprised if that became a kindle unlimited best seller 😂 all of these are simply wonderful, though, Meg! You write a mean synopsis!
The historical fiction riff kills. Who knew the 18th century was populated entirely by clones of two incredibly dull people?
Am I allowed to choose all of them? So damn funny! I was laughing start to finish. 🤣
So weird, I was just about to make a similar post to this... for Rod Grasper!
My vote is on 3
This was hilarious! You really captured essence of it all!
My first paid subscriber / donator specifically asked me NOT to use his name.
Raker seemed to the be the only synopsis that wasn’t written out of contempt, but if it was, too, and I just missed it - well, it’s still the most interesting/readable idea.
YOU ARE SO GOOD! I vote for hottie home raker (sorry I was late getting to it).
And yes despite your insane talent you're not (yet) a best seller. The problem is your standards are too high (sorry you're stuck with yourself and your goodness). Plus it's not porn. Plus, plus you don't have a wealthy sponsor buying out all the SEO + algo machinations for you to be declared a bestseller. I know someone who wrote a book and parent paid people to game Amazon's algo and voila she was a "bestseller" for a month. Now she plasters that everywhere. Yes, a lot of it is rigged. As for the rest there's always porn, erotica and trash romance that sells much better than what you write but it's forgettable. AND you need a different digestive system to put out that stuff...so there's your tradeoff. Keep writing what YOU are proud of. It's beautiful stuff. You are one of the few people I always track...
My vote went with #3. Say My Neighm.
The introductions in the first paragraph alone delivered your own special spoonerism brand.
- "...her stable hand..." ( He ?) Oh right, Bastien !
Have you ever considered publishing a collection of stories just like these?